Dir. Roberto De Feo & Paolo Strippoli | Now Streaming On: Netflix | Rating: 1/5

On sitting down to write this review, I realized that A Classic Horror Story is the first contemporary/non-Giallo Italian horror film I’ve seen. Maybe I need a bit more exposure to this style of dark comedy or humor, but for me this felt dead on arrival. ⁠
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In the first few minutes, we are hit over the head with one of the main messages of the film – which is the millennial obsession with social media. This hardly tactful theming is shoved down your throat for the entire 95 minute runtime through a cast of unlikeable characters. I tried to research how old these directors are – in some sad hope that they were boomers trying to shake their pruny fists at technology again, but alas, they are attractive 30 somethings. ⁠
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This brings me to the big debate on this film – it’s clear what they TRIED to do. De Feo and Strippoli made a halfhearted attempt at a revamped and edgy Cabin in the Woods but fumbled the execution in a major way. You probably won’t see the twist coming, probably because the storyline rambles in multiple directions we have no idea where we are headed anyway. ⁠
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Aesthetically, the film is well shot and the gore is nothing to laugh at. This team has the makings of what could be a potential better film in the future. They clearly know what makes a good horror film, but they need to come at this from their own angle in the future. ⁠
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If you’re looking for a plot like this one – I’d skip this and stick with Cabin in the Woods. ⁠
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Know Before You Watch: Features gore, blood, death. ⁠